Pure Noise: Nov 28 Bitcoin & ETH. - Price Reaction

AI Trading Avatars: More Like AI Hype Machines?

Crypto's "AI Revolution": More Like AI Hype, Am I Right? So, Bitget's launching AI trading avatars with 7 Strategies. Six of 'em, each with their own "personalities" and "strategies." Give me a break. It's 2025, and every damn company is slapping "AI" on everything to try and pump their stock or, in this case, their crypto exchange. "AI trading avatars"? Are we supposed to believe these things are gonna outsmart the market? Seriously? They’ve got names like "Steady Hedge" and "Altcoin Turbo." Sounds less like cutting-edge tech and more like rejected characters from a bad video game. Gracy Chen, CEO of Bitget, says these avatars make trading "more personal and more approachable." Personal? Approachable? It's a friggin' algorithm! Last time I checked, algorithms don't have feelings or empathy. They just crunch numbers. And "one-click copy trading"? That's just begging for disaster. People are gonna blindly follow these AI avatars, thinking they're some kind of guaranteed money-making machine. Newsflash: the market doesn't care about your feelings or some dumb AI's "strategy." It'll chew you up and spit you out, no matter how "personable" your avatar is. I wonder if these avatars can do my taxes. Because that’s the level of AI I need. Oh, and of course, there's a 10,000 USDT airdrop pool to "encourage exploration." Translation: they're bribing people to use their new feature so they can generate some buzz. Smart, I guess.

Bitcoin's "Fragile" Rally and Ethereum's Big Yawn

Bitcoin's "Fragile" Rise and Ethereum's Sideways Shuffle Meanwhile, back in the real world, Bitcoin's teetering near $92,000. Analysts are saying it's mostly driven by short covering, not actual buying. KillaXBT is already setting up short positions, warning of a potential bear market if Bitcoin can't break $108,000 soon. Sounds about right. Glassnode data shows the market structure is "fragile." Dense supply areas between $93,000 and $96,000, and again between $100,000 and $108,000. If liquidity doesn't improve, we could see a drop to $81,000. Because offcourse crypto can't just have a normal day. And Ethereum? It's "trading near fair value territory" around $3,000. Not overbought, not oversold, just...meh. The fear and greed index is neutral, the price is moving sideways. It's like watching paint dry, but with slightly more risk. ETH trades near fair value territory as price recovers to $3,000 territory They’re hyping up some "Fusaka update" on December 3rd, but otherwise, there's "no directional hype." Peak network activity, but it's not translating to price growth. Sounds like the usual crypto promises that never pan out. Is ETH shifting its market structure? Maybe. Maybe not. Who knows? The MVRV ratio on Binance is just below 1, which could signal a local bottom, but also "price weakness and sideways trading." In other words, even the analysts are shrugging their shoulders. Then again, maybe I'm being too cynical. Maybe these AI trading avatars will revolutionize the market. Maybe Bitcoin will hit $100,000 by Christmas. And maybe I'll win the lottery next week. But I wouldn't bet on it.

Crypto Theft: Now With Added North Korean Spice!

Don't Forget the Hacks! Oh, and let's not forget the Upbit hack. $36.81 million in Solana-related assets stolen. Korean authorities suspect the North Korean Lazarus Group, which is allegedly linked to a previous Ethereum theft. So, yeah, even if you somehow manage to navigate the volatile market and avoid the AI-powered scams, there's still a good chance your crypto will get stolen by state-sponsored hackers. Fun times. So, What's the Real Story? It's all a circus. AI hype, fragile markets, sideways trading, and good old-fashioned theft. Just another day in the wild west of crypto. Don't say I didn't warn ya.